Before the winter break my room mate, Anthony, left a note in my cereal box:

Pete, We were supposed to go driving today… It has been snowing since 2:30 AM. Tho
ugh beautiful, even I would not drive today.

By the way it’s about 7:15 AM.

I spent my night in the kitchen watching the snowfall. I feel at peace here, alone with the ovens on and their doors open for heat. It’s so toasty. The sun is rising… cannot see it though… the sky is turning a pretty pink. It was beautiful transition, though… the snow I mean. At first… it didn’t stick… just covered the limp green in a hypothermic frost…man… I would hate to be the grass… then, the green turned to white. It was slow at first … but it caught on very quickly… then the roads… cars… buildings, until everything was white… Is White. Perfection.

The best part… footprints. Watching people walk to campus… leaving harsh black imperfections in the snow… only to see them covered with the forgiving and patient white snow. It’s as if… the endothermic reaction that occurred upon compression failed to blush the reputation of winters; a soft handed realization to an unyielding life. I hope to someday share such a transition with you.

All is white except the ground under the post… orange form the light above. One can sense the jealousy that quivers between the filament to filament; time-and-a-half pay to disrupt the process.

“Just stop trying. You’re embarrassing yourself… stop! PLEASE!”

But, boy… is it pretty. Street lamps turn off…one… by one…by one.

Lights, camera…action! Friday has begun.

I want you to take one thing home with you this holiday.

Can you do that? A piece of knowledge if you will.

You’re an inspiration and it’s an honor to know you. Just promise me one thing…

Promise me… you’ll never let the snow cover you up.

With more love than this world can count on,

Anthony Petrella.

P.S: You know they say that the people who stay friends forever meet in college?

You and me kiddo.


Little Black Booking

Haven’t wrote in a while. I remember that episode in Fresh Prince of Bel Air with Will and his Little Black Book. Contained with the numbers of many different women. I wonder if I had a black book for the purpose of saving numbers of women would I be able to fill it? No. It would probably end after the entries of my mother, grandmother, aunt, and some good sisters.

I have this little black book not to fill with numbers or digits but rather thoughts filled with feelings. I find myself walking to class and simultaneously writing on the legs of her pages. Or when the professor fails to captivate my thoughts I whisper on the lines of her paper with a pen. When I should be writing that seven-page paper due on Monday, my face is buried deep in the crevices of her black leather cover scribbling away.

It seems the post for this blog has transition into my pocket, where it is for my eyes only. The book is sheltered from the province of punctuation where commas and semi-colons guard the entrance before the masses can read it. The little black book is protected from the cruel cynics’ criticism. There is no pressure to relate to other because in my little black book I am king, peasant, and slave. I write the words and at the very same time, I live it. But there are some things I write; I know it should be shared. At a roundtable discussion with my pen and my little black book, we agreed that the poem below will be suffice.

Rain reminds me of the day you left.
Gravity taking its course.
No matter how hard I tried to fight it with my umbrella of pride,
The wetness still found it’s way to my cheek.
And because it is cold, it refuses to dry beneath my pores.
I wish it would stop raining from my face,
And the umbilical cord that connects the cause and effect of emotion to physical output, would just erode away.


Class Is In Session

Whenever the topic of where I see myself in the next 15 years or so arises, my mind is thrown to an empty classroom somewhere between Brooklyn and Buffalo. The classroom is empty with a gentleman at the desk. The desk is messy from the papers he needs to finish grading and lesson plans that are also incomplete. He’s reading the newspaper, while A Tribe Called Quest plays faintly in the background. He’s waiting for class to start.

The bell finally rings. Showtime. The students trickle through the door, speaking to each other about the basketball game last night, what they had for dinner, and who’s dating whom. He takes attendance at 8:05 AM. Perfect attendance, they love his class. As he stands to his feet he addresses the students with a “Good morning folks, today’s Stranger of the Day is Baynard Rustin.” He proceeds to give a brief history about a prominent civil rights activist who goes unnoticed simply because of sexual orientation. He advances with the lesson plan.

I aspire to be a middle school teacher. The power to influence a child’s mind and form the way he might see life for the future, has to be the equivalent of a masterful potter. Whips the clay in fashion with his bare hands.

The bell rings again. The students pack their bags and run out. He turns to the stereo and plays that familiar tune ‘No Woman, No Cry.’ Takes his seat at the desk, and waits for the next class to arrive.



I once fell in love over the internet

I once fell in love over the Internet. I met her on twitter. She followed me, and I gladly followed back. We talked a bit. She said “Thanks for following me back.”

I said “No problem. Don’t be a Stranger.” She would later direct message me saying “I love your tweets.” I went to her profile page and clicked that 1 by 1 avatar known as her profile picture; my jaw fell. Because that picture of her was so beautiful it was as if God Himself and all His majesty took his index finger and outlined her body. Then he took a crayon colored “beautiful” and just scribbled that flawless anatomy with his eyes shut.

I can’t remember her birth name. But I remember the name she wanted me to call her. Mary Jane. She was the only girl she who could understand why I went by the name “Pete” on Facebook. You see, I was in 11th grade preparing to take my Regents. She was in UCLA studying for her BAR exam. She told me she loved the post I wrote, and told me she liked me for the potential I had at such a young age. We spoke on Aim, back when it was popular and she wrote without grammatical errors so I was forced to do the same. We spoke on the phone, and her voice was like my favorite song with every word. No, her voice was like my angel Gabriel, filling me with this indescribable feeling that the adjectives that fall under the word “amazing” bow down mercifully because they weren’t worthy to describe. You see I fell in love over the Internet. Her name was Mary Jane.

When I laid in my bed at night in my Brooklyn apartment,  she slept in her California condo. I began to dream. I began to dream that the spinal cord that held this country together would one day break. That the boundary lines that connected state by state, would just erase. I dreamed I would be able to open my chest and take out my heart fold it into a paper plane fill it up with the gas of nostalgia and ride west. I dreamed of a day I’d meet Mary Jane. You see I fell in love over the Internet. Her name was Mary Jane. Then one day Mary Jane deleted her twitter.


Somedays I’m Homeless.


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